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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Benmore Scotch Whiskey and Borgy Manotoc

Early this November, I made a blog announcing the launching of Benmore Scotch Whiskey here at Baguio. Last November 26, the event pursued and it was a total blast!! Thanks to the Global Noble International Corporation (Official Distributor of Benmore Scotch Whiskey Nationwide)
Borgy with the CEO/President of the Global Noble International Corporation
I was privileged to be one of the bloggers invited to the launching. And it was an honor to be able to be part of such an event and of course to be able to meet the handsome and sexy Borgy Manotoc. He looks so good in pictures and in the television screen and he looks even better in person!! Thinking about the event still makes me kilig up to now!! LOL! He is even nice and very accomodating which gave the launching some extra spice!

Benmore Scotch Whiskey made an excellent choice to have Borgy as their brand ambassador. The brand fits the ambassador well, they're both premium: of exceptional quality.
Borgy with Ms. Baguio 2011 and the K-lite DJ's

The launch was somewhat a whole day activity. Borgy had is lunch at the Concoctions Bar and Resto. His interview at K-lite started at around 4:30 in the afternoon and was then followed by a quick snack at Zola Resto and Cafe.
Snack time at Zola Resto and Cafe
Borgy with the Zola Resto and Cafe Staff

The Press-con was held at the Citylight Bar together with dinner/chillout party where Borgy got to meet us, the bloggers *ehem* and a few guests like Baguio Metamorphosis.

Borgy with Baguio Metamorphosis Dancers at Citylights
Followed by the chillout party was the dance party and Benmore Scotch Whiskey tasting at the Hex Bar where Borgy, himself, conducted games: dance contest and drinking contest.

It was one heck of a great night! Many guests came and everyone surely enjoyed!

Benmore Scotch could actually be drank straight, on the rocks, or mixed with iced tea, cola, or any soda drink - and you still have that quality taste. And the best thing about Benmore is that it's affordable at P375. It's website is currently in progress for us to know more details regarding this premium drink.

So what drink's better to have this season to warm you up from cold breeze? Grab Benmore and enjoy!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Because Talent Ain't Enough

I'm not boasting, I just want to say, I sing and I can sing.

Just give me this one chance, at least to shout out to the whole world how much I love to sing... to perform.... Some say I'm just loving the praise from everyone; the attention. It actually hurts knowing people who feels this way about people who love to perform. But no, that is not my motif. I just love doing it.

It's all about the beauty of being able to do the things you love to do; That feeling when you get to do something, and you actually enjoy it - being appreciated for it is just extra points - for the real performers actually.

To start, I've been singing ever since I was toddler. I've only got to develop it during my early elementary days due to extra curricular activities. I also started to take voice lessons (classical approach) to develop it more. But I don't remember how long I took voice lessons and how old I was that time.

Sadly, I had to stop taking up voice lessons because I was kind of hard up already with my studies especially when I participate in a lot of our extra curricular activities at school that time.

Fast forward to highschool: I got to join our school choir which was very significant for me. It was also a nice experience getting to know more of the singing community; people who share my passion in the particular talent that God has given us.

But the joy of being able to perform with this group didn't last. Issues came along with this group and I had no choice but to leave the group because it was destroying my leadership responsibilities in the student council as well as my academic persistence.

Lucky was I that our school had a lot of extra curricular activities which allowed me to perform from time to time. But beyond those times I didn't get any chance at all.

I really wanted to perform at outside school activities. But then I'm really a very committed student so I really had to keep my student responsibilities as my priorities.

Fourth year high school: the year where me and my batchmates became busy applying for college examinations. We were caught up with the thought of deciding which career to pursue for our upcoming college life. And yes, I wanted to take up music as my career. Or maybe performing arts. Because I knew if I worked with my passion then I'd be happy and successful.

But then reality struck me at the last minute. Performing arts wasn't a real career as what people say. They said I didn't have a good future in line with that career. They told me how I may be successful at first but in the long run I'd lose the gist of it all.

So being practical, I decided to lay away with my dream career and go with the courses that would mean "successful" in the long run.

Looking back up to that day: it still hurts my heart. Thinking of how many times I gave up chances to do my passion as a living for me for the reason that it isn't enough to support my living. Somehow, I regret having to decide on that. Up to now I still crave to do more on my passion. Sadly, I can't do that because of different matters.

But then, I'm still thankful that I get to go do karaoke with friends and family. Often I even sing myself out at home just to do what I love the most.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Through the Distance

They say, to never engage yourself in a long distance relationship (LDR) because it's really hard, and that it's just most likely to end, if not soon, somewhere in the future.

I, myself, am engaged in a Long Distance Relationship. And yes, it is hard in so much ways.

I never imagined myself being in an LDR because I knew already before about the mishaps. But true is what they say, that when you fall in love, most of the time you wouldn't even consider your "requirements" for you partner. Then and there, you find the perfect person to love, and you just find yourself falling in love.

Yes, I did have doubts at the start. I was afraid that the fairy tale would turn into a nightmare. I didn't know if I could put my whole trust into my new found knight in shining armor especially that my heart has once been scared already.

Clearing up my throat and trusting everything to faith, love, and most especially God, I took up the courage to love again despite knowing the fact that I'm entering an LDR.

It all went out right at first. But as time came, I came to realize how hard it really was.

I really despised the times when he couldn't be there for me when I needed him the most. I'd find myself crying alone and going through my personal problems without having anyone to hug me tight and wipe my tears.

I ended  up doubting every move he made. I became paranoid thinking that he was cheating on me and keeping things from me. I kept on comparing him with the boyfriends of my friends who were also in LDR. My friends would tell me the awful things they boyfriends or exes do/did and I'd think that he's doing the same to me too.

He was always busy with work and we seldom get to call or text each other since he was the new kid at work so most of the hard stuff were given to him.

I was blessed with a partner who was so patient of me. He never gave up on us and made it a point to fix all our misunderstandings. Whenever I wanted to let go he'd always remind me that there was always something better to hold on to. He constantly found ways to show me that I could trust him and that he would never do anything to destroy our relationship.

So as time went by, I learned to become stronger. I learned to put more faith on our relationship. We had less fights, and I was able to endure the distance between us and take it as an opportunity to have more time for myself and other people and things. In short, I loved US.

I got to learn how to love alone time. With this, I was able to appreciate myself more. I got to learn more of my abilities and even got to engage in different activities that have developed me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. And the best thing was that it taught me to become more independent.

I had a lot of family time that I learned more of the value we Filipinos have regarding family-ties. I got to know my relatives more and got to enjoy more their company instead of worrying about my partner all the time.

I became more appreciative of my friends. I was blinded before by the thought that I never had anyone. But I realized then that I was just hindering myself to get to know my friends more; to be closer to them.

Also, it gave me time to develop my career as I had time to concentrate more on my future. But, of course, never leaving him out of the picture.

The best thing about LDR is when you develop that feeling of missing each other. That when the opportunity comes for you to see each other again, you feel that tingly feeling, the excitement, and the joy you have inside. When you see each other, it's as if there ain't no more tomorrow. Then you cherish your time together more knowing that you've missed each other so much. The time not spent together gives you an opportunity to be surprised of the wonders your relationship can do.

Long distance relationships aren't as hard as it may seem. Especially now that communication and transportation is much easier than before. It's just the matter of maintaining the love or making it even better. For when you truly love a person, distance is just a factor, but it will never define your relationship. It is love that defines it.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Worth the Oath?

We had our oath taking last Nov. 17, 2011 at the Manila Hotel. For me, it wasn't such a much-awaited event. There wasn't much to expect actually. Actually, all I wanted was to already take a hold of my own license; to see my name printed on that hard plastic card, my 1x1 picture on the right side, with a written "MECHANICAL ENGINEER" on it.

Last October 11, 2011, I registered myself to the Professional Regulation Commission (PRC) for my license. I was told that I was to register for the oath taking at the Philippine Society of Mechanical Engineers (PSME) office which was located just in front of the PRC building. During that time, the issue regarding joining the oath taking was very blunt: some said that we were required to join, some said we weren't. I was torn!!! In some way I didn't want to join the oath taking because I heard that it was really expensive to join. But then I also saw it as a one time opportunity.

Posted at the PSME office was this:
And the first thing that came into my mind was "What the!!!!!!" It was actually too much! Too much! I say.

I repeat, TOO MUCH!!!

We've paid "enough" at the PRC (and I think it was a fair payment..  sorta). Then it really shocked me that they were to charge another extra for the membership, pin, sampaguita!!!, and ticket!!!

Before I've decided to pay for it I called my parents (actually I told them to call me,, ahihi) first to ask them for their opinion. I first told them about the price and what were they for. When I reached the price of the oath ticket my mom said, "1,200???!!!!!". But then she got a hold of herself quite fast and asked where the oath taking was and if there was food included already. So I explained what was told to me: I told her that the venue was at Manila Hotel, and that yes, food would also be served.

So she said that Manila Hotel was a nice place and maybe the food would be worth it of Php1,200. So being the supportive parents as they are, they also told me to go ahead and pay and buy 2 extra tickets for the both of them to attend the oath taking too.

So there, everything was settled. All I had to do was to just wait for the oath taking. During that time, the oath taking was dated "October 18, 2011" - very convenient because it wasn't too far from the releasing. But then it was suddenly change to "November 2011 exact date to be announced". Honestly, it was quite a hassle for me because I wasn't really resided at Metro Manila. But nevertheless I didn't want to stress out myself about that certain thing. What was important for me was my license.

During the last week of October (I'm not sure about this), I received an e-mail from the PSME office that the oath taking was dated November 15, 2011. So then and there, I set that day for that certain event. Then early that November, news was being spread that the oath taking was to be moved on November 17. It quite irritated me because the date was always moved. There wasn't any consistency - am I right? or is there a better term?

About a week before the oath taking I received a text from the PSME secretariet that the oath taking was indeed to be moved on November 17. So final was final. Hassle, again. It was mentioned on that text message that the registration would start at 12nn and that the oath taking program would start at 1pm.

But to minus the stress I just told my self that at least it was only two days after the "original" date.

November 17 - finally!

Me and my parents arrived at the venue at around 12:30pm. And upon the arrival what did we meet? A very unorganized crowd and long queues. Official photographers were crowded at the entrance to the hall convincing the inductees and their parents to have their pictures taken for the oath taking by them - and let me emphasize that they were there meeting all the inductees in a very unorganized way - the market unorganized type of way. I mean, if they were really official photographers, then they shouldn't be standing at the entrance like that. They should have at least have a "table" for the "registration" - which is actually the way official photographers really should be doing during the registration period.

At the entrance of the Fiesta Pavilion Hall, we were given copies of the program. Fast forward to when we were finally seated - while waiting for the event to start, me and my parents scanned the program, and stated there, the program starts at 2pm!! And so goodbye late lunch - which my parents and I (and I do think most of the inductees and their guests too) expected to be given to us. Fact: my parents and I didn't get to eat lunch that time so imagine how hungry we were during the program.

At 1pm, seats were still being arranged for everyone. PSME officers were called to find seats for the inductees and guests who weren't seated yet. Which, I think, was very inappropriate for a formal event like that., well since it wasn't really "formal", the people just went on allowing such.

I wouldn't be enumerating the whole program so let me just highlight a few events that were quite meaningful:

  1. It was very hard for the officers to find seats because they didn't even allot ushers to guide the inductees and guests.
  2. There wasn't an appropriate "head count" so there were last minute adding of table and chairs and not all of the inductees and guests were inside the hall to be able to witness the induction properly.
  3. The emcee kept on telling green jokes. Which I think is very inappropriate for the crowd: there were ladies in the hall, and us inductees were with our parents. I'm not against green jokes but I do believe that there is a right time and right place for it. But regardless of that, some of his jokes were good and okay.
  4. Second to that, he just kept on saying jokes every in between parts of the program. Hindi na siya naubusan nang joke - pinagkatuwaan na lang namin.. hehe!!!
  5. Food served: Pancit, Half Sandwich, Ensaymada, Brownies, and Chicken. Drinks: Coffee and Water. And I think that some of the tables didn't get to have this full meal. All we had to say when the food was served: "This is worth 1,200?".
  6. Not all tables were given the whole meal. Also, the program was about to end, and still, some tables haven't finished eating because of the slow service.
  7. During the speech of the guest of honor he mentioned, "We are thinking of ways to conduct oath takings without any expense from the inductees, but then it is next to impossible"
  8. I think the best part about the oath taking was our No. 1 Top Notcher's speech. His speech really had depth.
And what are my points about this blog entry?
  1. Php 1,200 is too much of a charge on the oath taking ticket. Compared to what we experienced. It wasn't worth that much of money. My dad says that some organizations conduct events to raise funds. Well okay, if PSME needs fund raising then fine, but we all agreed (including my dad) that they asked too much and they got too much from the price of the oath taking ticket.
  2. We wouldn't mind paying an amount of money for an activity like this as long as we receive in return worth the price that has been charged. But adding up the food, service, program content, the "quality" of the event, it does not add up to Php 1,200.
  3. The PSME should have thought about who were attending the event - fresh graduates/board passers (clearly those without much money to pay for themselves) and their parents. Also, not all guests have the money. Some of the inductees come from families who have little income. Considering also those who don't reside at Metro Manila - they also have to spend to travel. The PSME should have made the price a lot more friendlier. I am pretty sure that a lot would have wanted to attended such an event but that they didn't have enough money to do so.
  4. I didn't get to show on the highlights evidence for this but it's as if we, the inductees, were only "guests"; "audiences"; "extras" during the oath taking when it was supposed to be our time to shine. The program concentrated more on the VIP's. We didn't feel special.
  5. Generally, parang pinagkakitaan lang kami. And to think, we weren't even told what benefits we were to have by joining the society. No orientation or whatsoever to inform us what to expect from the society.
Now was the oath taking worth it?

I'm writing this of frustration because I really felt that the oath taking was a waste of time and money.

This here blog entry is an eye opener to the society. Please do not take advantage of such activities. Charge us Php 1,200? Give us what we paid for. Better yet, make the price a lot more friendly to the real VIP's of the activity.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Christmas Wishlist (Pricey Version :p)

Christmas is just around the corner. We crave for gifts to receive. But in reality? They're too expensive for people to just give it to you. Ahihi... But wishing doesn't hurt anyone. So here are most of the gifts expensive-much that are part of my wishlist this year :)

1. Gym Bag - I'm putting "more time for gym" on my new year's resolution for next year. So I really want to be equipped with good stuff that I could use when going to the gym. And what's better than having a good gym bag to put them in.

2. Gym Shoes - With regards to the Gym Bag I also want another pair of of durable gym shoes. I already got a pair it's also from Nike. But I've been having trouble of always forgetting my shoes when I travel from my Hometown down to Metro Manila or vice versa. So I'm really in need of another pair so I could leave one pair in each place.

3. Wedge - I am vertically challenged!!! :p But thanks to the fashion industry I can look taller than I really am. So I'm hoping to add up more shoes with heels in my "collection". I like wedges more since they're more comfortable to walk in - no more than 2" heels. I so love the designs of these two wedges and they're quite cheaper than the
usual wedges. You can find these wedges
at so fab botiques.

4. Oxfords - I'm a fan of flat shoes (even when I'm vertically challenged :p) because I love how they fit into my tootsies and how they comfortable they are to use during long walks. So, the first time I saw oxfords on display, I couldn't help but crave for one! This oxford is also from so fab.

5. Footzyrolls - I've been through times when I go through parties, meetings, conferences, etc. where in my feet always end up aching because of the shoes I wear (formal shoes/heels/stilettos). Bad thing is I always don't get to bring more comfortable shoes because they're too bulky to put in my bag along with my other stuff. Then again, thanks to fashion, designers came up with flats that could be folded or rolled which makes it very convenient to bring. Footzyrolls is one specific brand of rollable shoes. You could also find foldable flats at the online shop: Whatta Girlwants.

6. Sienna Wood Bead Bag - Aqua - I'm quite fond of bags. I usually go for bags that can carry a lot of load since I bring a lot of things with me most of the time. I'm loving how the color combination of this bag and it will add some oomph in my daily wear. What I also like about this bag is that it's not like the ordinary bags I usually use so it's gonna be something new for me.

7. Studio Boheme Customized Satchel - I've once saw a picture of a satchel somewhat like this. It was plain mint green. It was like love at first sight. hehe!!! So I started to post its pic on facebook and a few of my friends told me where to buy it. I saw same bags at Greenhills but then its price was way beyond my budget that time. I was also given a link and viola!! I found studio boheme. And what's great about it? --> it makes customized satchels.

8. Urban Decay's Naked Palette - I've first seen this from my friend when we met up at a mall. And there it was again love at first sight. ahihi!! I love the colors and I do believe that all of the colors would complement my complexion a lot unlike other colors so buying the whole set wouldn't be a waste. My friend also tells me that it blends in well and stays on the lids making it very durable.

9. Primer - Okay, I do confess that I also got a thing for make up. But I DO confess that I'm not that much updated. So, thanks to my friends blog (check it out!!! >> Krizia Jeannine) I got to learn about primers. I haven't tried using it yet but based on her blog entry it pretty much seems a good investment most of all now that I'm getting more fond up putting make up on myself.

10. White polo dress - Among my interests, I'm also quite into fashion. Thanks to Cosmopolitan Philippines Magazine who came up with a wardrobe workbook during their October 2011 issue, I got to find out how useful having this clothing as part of my wardrobe since it can be mixed and matched with a lot of clothing pieces. Cosmopolitan Mag October 2011 issue also shows a lot of different clothes that you can mix and match so try grabbing a copy (I think some of this issue are still in stock in some magazine stands).

11. Lace Dress - I adored Mango's featured lace dress on Cosmopolitan Mag November 2011 issue. Red and cute! I would love having a lace dress as part of my wardrobe because I really find it as an interesting and trendy piece of fashion. I'm starting to wear dresses more often now so I'm really willing to try one of these. You could also check out the online shop WhoWhat Wear's Lace Dress which she sells for an affordable price.

12. Dress. PERIOD. - I repeat, sorta, I'm loving dresses now. And these two dresses that I've seen posted on tumblr really caught my eye. The one the left side would really be perfect for an afternoon walk with my family, friends, and partner. The one on the right would be a perfect outfit on a semi-formal event.

13. Lazy Day Pants - I don't remember the first I saw this piece of fashion out in the industry. But I do remember that I've wanting to have one ever since. I was planning to buy one during my last year in college but then I was having second thoughts because I really didn't know if I'd be able to use it most especially that we wore corporate attire almost everyday at school. Another reason was that I wasn't that much into experimenting on my everyday wear. But now that I'm more adventurous with it I'm going back to wanting it. I got to buy a black one at greenhills which I was able to wear during my second job interview and it really was a comfy fit. Now I'm hoping to be able to buy another piece of a different color. Hopefully same color as this one. Note: WhoWhat Wear online shop also sells lazy pants and I actually got this image from it's account.

14. Floral Skirt - I'm getting quite addicted to floral designs. I really gives me a happy feel and I feel that when I'm gonna use floral designs I'm gonna make other feell happy too. ahihi! I'm not that much into skirts, but I thought: since I'm starting to like wearing dresses I should also try skirts.

15. iPhone 5? - Yes, it goes with a question mark because at this moment iPhone 5 hasn't been released yet but I'm looking forward to it and I'm actually considering of saving up for it, hopefully. I'm actually choosing between this and Blackberry but then a friend of mine told me that this phone suits my needs more and that I'm gonna love how I'd be able to install games in it.

16. Teacup Pomeranian - Last but not the least, I came up with this picture also in tumblr. It really got my attention because it's just so cute I wanna die!!!! ahihi!! :) Well I haven't come across this breed in person and I'm not sure if this breed could be found here in the Philippines but once I get enough money to take care of a dog I'm really considering this one.

Well I hope you enjoyed browsing the pictures of this blog and reading my insights about them. Who knows, maybe you'd want one of these things too!! :)

Krizia Jeannine's blogspot

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Health Benefits: Scotch Whisky (For Benmore Scotch Whiskey)

What is Whiskey?
A type of distilled alcoholic beverage made from fermented grain mash. Different grains are used for different varieties, including barley, malted barley, rye, malted rye, wheat, and maize (corn). Whiskey is aged in wooden casks, made generally of charred white oak, except that in the united states corn whiskey need not be aged. -
What is Scotch Whiskey?
Whiskey made in Scotland
Some alcoholic beverages have its health benefits (like wine) but what exactly are the health benefits of whiskey (Scotch Whiskey to be specific)?
      I have researched on this specific topic and I came up with these---->
Drinking whisky can help protect you against cancer, a conference of international scientists have heard. Researchers have long hailed the anti-cancer properties of red wine due to its antioxidant content.Delegates at the EuroMedLab 2005 conference in Glasgow have now been told that whisky contains significantly higher levels of a powerful antioxidant that kills cancer cells.Dr. Jim Swan, an independent consultant to the worldwide drinks industry, discussed the art and science of whisky distilling, as well as its possible health benefits. - read more
Our friend Ben and Silence Dogood were recently stunned when our friend Rob, a longtime journalist turned journalism professor, informed us that drinking whiskey was good for the heart. “I’ve interviewed doctors about this, and it’s true,” he asserted. - read more
Drinking scotch can benefit your health in a variety of ways. reports moderate consumption of alcohol may reduce your risk of heart disease, diabetes and gallstones. (Ref 2) Dr. Flanigan notes red wine is probably the healthiest alcohol to drink because it contains a compound called resveratrol that's linked to long life, but drinking scotch may also extend your life. "Moderate consumption of any type of alcohol appears to be one component to a long life," Flanigan states. In a review of studies involving over a million people published in the December, 2006 issue of the "Archives of Internal Medicine," drinking light to moderate amounts of alcohol reduced the risk of an early death by as much as 18 percent in women and 17 percent in men. - read more
Need I say more? In line with the Launching of Benmore Scotch Whiskey there are such benefits.

What is Benmore Scotch Whiskey?
Benmore Scotch Whisky is a new alcoholic drink with a much affordable price. Whisky is usually drink during special occasion. Along with other whisky drinks, its competitors are rhum and brandy. However with Benmore's affordability, it also competing with local beers. In the Philippines, beers are what Filipinos usually buy even without special occasion to celebrate. Therefore we introduce Benmore as an alternative alcoholic drink, upgrading usual beer to Benmore Scotch Whisky. - Behance Network

----Not suited for minors----drink moderately----

Sunday, November 6, 2011

My Celebrations

a picture of me blowing my 18th birthday cake
Ever since I was a toddler, celebrations were a big part of my life. Being blessed with very generous parents; parents who work hard to give what we need and want, I was able to celebrate a lot of parties in my behalf: birthdays, achievement parties, graduation parties, success parties, and the like.

For what I've observed, those parties weren't just about me even though its purpose was really about me.

When the party day ends, I find myself not fulfilled just because the celebration was about me, but because of the company I had during the celebration.

Seeing familiar faces greeting you with a smile, kiss, hug, or a handshake.

The non-stop kwentuhan story telling.

The gossip chismisan, laughtrips, kulitan....

It's all about the fun EVERYONE gets to experience during the party.

Monday, October 31, 2011

My Imperfect Superman

The comical superman is known for his great strength and boldness; of being handsome, tall, and intelligent; of containing super powers to save any damsel in distress. What else can a lady ask for?

But then on a ordinary day, with the rain spattering on my head, no man would come swooping down to fly me out of the rain in a jiffy. But one man would come running towards me; crossing the busy and wet road between us; carrying a umbrella just the right size for the two of us; and we'd walk together side by side in the pouring rain.

My superman isn't as perfect as Clark Kent. He may not be the man every girl wishes for. But he is MY superman.

Imperfect for he is a real human being. Someone who won't save me during my damsel-in-distress-moments but would rather be with me always even when I don't need saving. He commits mistakes like all people. He makes me hurt, sad, and mad from time to time. But I am lucky enough to feel this kinds of emotions with him for I know I only feel this because of the love we have for each other. But this emotions never last long. For our love is stronger than any other negative emotion a relationship could bring.

Yes, we have had our ups and downs. We have fought each other; We cried; We shouted; We have hurt each others feelings. But never have those times destroyed our care for each other. For we believe that in true love, love will always win.

Yes, he is my superman and I shall not wish for any other man to replace him. He has been with me during my most darkest times and made sure that I would always turn out right.

The superman who have saved me from the life that would have destroyed me.
The superman who have saved me from the negativism.
The superman who have saved me from myself.
The superman whom I will love forever no matter what kryptonite he has in his life.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

"Fighting For My License"

Dear Life,
I officially graduated at Saint Louis University last April 15, 2011 with the degree of Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering. But this wasn’t the end of my grueling journey of engineering-ship. For most of us, graduation is just the beginning. We don’t usually feel the usual enthusiasm during the graduation rites. Although we feel happy about finally finishing the academic torture - we feel something more intense — the big *gulp* in preparation for our board exams.

On the 23rd day of May, my review for the board exam officially started. I was a reviewee at PRIME mechanical review center located at Sampaloc, Manila. At first, I was staying at a dormitory located along Claro M. Recto Street. Although the location was very accessible, the dormitory wasn’t conducive for our review.

Me and my dormmates decided to look for a better place to stay - somewhere much much more conducive for our review. During the first week of our review we went around Sampaloc, Manila right after our review. It really took us a hard time finding the perfect dorm fit for us. But things started not go so well.

 Then the agony started when I peed at the old dormitory’s comfort room. It hurt a lot - the oh-so-excruciating-pain of Unitary Tract Infection (again!!!) - it was my third time to have U.T.I. After that first pee, I kept on peeing at least every 5 minutes until I started peeing blood - dark red!!! I wanted to wait ‘til morning to go to the doctor. I was thinking of going to UST Hospital since it was the nearest hospital I knew.
But I wasn’t able to stand the pain anymore. I called up my mama and papa who were staying at our condominium at Mandaluyong (thank God they were here at Metro Manila). I was told by them to go to Medical Center Manila (it was the nearest hospital coming from my place and theirs).

It was one of the worst experiences I’ve had my entire life!!! Imagine me wanting to pee, but too scared to pee because I knew how painful it would feel.  I was feeling the pain along my lower body. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing - it really hurt so much!!! And I had to bring myself to the hospital via LRT1.

I was treated at the emergency room. I constantly went to the comfort room - kept on feeling the pain. I was just thankful that mama and papa were there with me. After a few visits to the comfort room, the color of my pee changed to a dark orange color - thank God! I was given some medicines and was instructed to go back to the hospital to have a check up with my attending Doctor - Dra. Hildegarde C. Yasay-Vistal, M.D.

During my check up with Dra. Vistal, I was instructed to continue with the meds and was assigned for Urinalysis and an ultra sound to check if I had stones in my kidney or if I had any abnormalities. It was the usual process that I’ve been through during my past two U.T.I. occurrences.

I prayed to God that it was just the usual U.T.I. I was quite afraid that it would be worst because my situation that time was really worst than the last two. It was my first time to pee actual blood. Also, I got chills from time to time and felt like vomitting from time to time also. I really prayed hard. I had a hard time dealing with my U.T.I. so I had to be absent at review for two days. I started to go back to review class when I stopped feeling chills and when I wasn’t vomitting anymore.

Stressed, the two days of being absent at review made it hard for me to catch up with the lessons. Also, the assignments given to us by the review center were really hard. I wasn’t able to study the missed lessons very well - it resulted to a very low score during our weekly exam that week - double stressed. I still had to think about my follow-up check up at the hospital - which also became a disaster. Everything just didn’t go right during my lab tests. I cried at the hospital of stress - the anger, the disappointment. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t know whom to run to since I was at Manila!!! I even fought my boyfriend for not being able to be with me during these hard times. I knew it wasn’t possible but I kept on asking him to go to me because I so needed him that time.

It was awful!!! But I don’t want to go much into the details because it would just make this blog entry extra extra long.

But one way or another. I was able to go through the hospital tragedy. My dad never left me even if I felt bad. My mom checked on me from time to time. And I got to say sorry to my boyfriend for being so selfish and I’m glad he understood that I was just going through a very stressful situation.

But the U.T.I. and hospital tragedy was just the beginning of my fight for my license.
Since I had to be away from the dormitory where me and my dorm mates first stayed, they had to look for a place to move in even without me. Sadly, they found a boarding house which was too far from the review center. My parents didn’t like me to stay there because it wasn’t “that comfortable” for me to stay in and have my review. Since one of us decided already to not join the group. Me and my parents have also decided for me to not join in too.

So, I ended up staying at a dormitory nearer to the review center. My new dormitory was nice. It was clean, accessible to transportation, it was near a mall, my unit-mates were nice, and I had my room to myself - good thing? - not really.

Being alone has its advantages - I’m the type of person who studies better alone rather studying within a group because I don’t like the pressure of hearing from other people things I haven’t started studying - it just stresses me out. Also, being alone gives you your own time. I didn’t have to worry waking up early because other people had to use the bathroom - although I share the bathroom with my unit mates, it wasn’t much that of a hassle because we didn’t go to our “schools” on the same time. Also, I eat on my own time, I sleep on my time, and I can do whatever I wish at my own time.

But as the review went on, I saw how bad I performed. During the whole duration of the review, I have never passed a weekly exam nor any evaluation given to us. I really felt bad about myself. I didn’t know what was wrong with me because I was really studying very hard. I knew I had the intelligence to get higher scores than those the scores I was getting during that time. I know I am better. But I constantly compared myself to the grades I got during my academic days. This just wasn’t me.

I then started spending more time thinking of other things I wish I was doing rather than reviewing. I constantly went out to the nearest mall just to unwind. I got irritated even by just the simplest things. I found it hard to be happy. I became a lot more sleepy. I didn’t find any joy in the things I usually liked.

I started thinking again that I really didn’t want to become and engineer. I hated myself so much for having to take up this hard of a course. I despised engineering so much. I despised it ever since I was in college. I hated how much it tortured me.

Few days after, I started hurting myself (thank God it never occurred to me to kill myself). I also started throwing things, destroying things when I found myself not being able to answer our take home exams. I fought my boyfriend even for the simplest things.

One day, I bought an issue of Women’s Health Magazine. It had an article that talked about depression and how it affects women and why it should be treated. It mentioned the symptoms and I found my situation similar to most of it. It then made me realize: I was having clinical depression.

I thought of asking for help from a psychiatrist or any specialist known to help me treat it. But at first I was too afraid and ashamed to even ask for help.

My boyfriend came back to Metro Manila from his assignment for work. He still worked at their office here Metro Manila but he visited me at my dormitory every once in a while to check how I was and to give me company even if it was just for dinner. But still, I constantly fought with him for this little mistakes and for the misunderstandings. I started hurting him too because of my anger.

Thank God, I finally got the courage to ask my boyfriend to accompany me to a psychiatrist. But, I told him that I didn’t want him to tell it to my parents because I was too afraid that they wouldn’t understand. So he agreed to what I wanted to prevent more fights, he even volunteered to pay for the check-up and my medicine. I told him that I’d pay him when I’d have money.

So the day after, I inquired at UST hospital the schedules of their psychiatrists. I chose to have an appointment with Dra. Imelda David who was a specialist in neurology and psychiatry.

My boyfriend asked for a half day excuse to accompany to Dra. David - and I was so thankful that they allowed him to come.

On my turn with doktora, she first asked me what was wrong with me and why I thought of having an appointment with her. So I told how negatively I was acting during the past weeks, how I hurt myself and how I wasn’t able to review well anymore.

She did say that I was really undergoing depression and it was a good thing that I thought of visiting a psychiatrist. She prescribed me a medicine: Desvenlafaxine succinate called Pristiq. It was a medicine that helps control emotions and would help me cope more with stress.

But she said that the medicine would only take it maximum effect in two weeks. So to help me cope up faster, I was instructed to exercise for a minimum of 30minutes everyday even by just walking.

After the check-up we bought the pills. But knowing that it’s price was extra extra expensive we first took half the prescription only - that cost my boyfriend almost Php2K. So ashamed of having him to spend that much of money only for my meds, I kept on telling him sorry and promise him that I’d pay him back when the time comes.

At first, everything went well. I continued with my review. It helped a lot when my boyfriend was given a one week break from work. We decided to stay at our condominium during his break. It was almost an hour commute to the review center but we thought that it was worth it since my boyfriend would be able to take care of me while I was still coping up with my depression. It was a lot better than having to visit me everynight just to have dinner while I was at my dorm.

But then, our review started to become a lot harder. Our main review was finished and we were already having our refresher course that time which meant exams everyday. I became a lot more depressed of my course and it just made everything worst.

Worst comes to worst, my boyfriend was given a notice that he was to be assigned already at Mindanao. I became more and more depressed. Most of all when he left already for manila.

It became harder for me already. Most especially that I didn’t have him by my side anymore. I became a lot more down since my exams weren’t improving. I didn’t go to the review for three straight days - I was too afraid to take the exams and just come out with another failing score.

On the first day of being absent, I was already at the dorm. I felt so helpless. But during those past days I never loosed hope. I constantly prayed to God. I asked him to help me cope up better with my depression. To guide me. To show me what I should do. Prayers played a big part in my fight. Even though it seemed God wasn’t listening, I still kept on praying. I kept my faith that He would not abandon me most especially during that time.

Then I knew it. God was talking to me. Texts came on constantly from my relatives and friends that they’re here to support me whatever happens.

So On the afternoon of the second day of being absent. I decided to go back to Dra. David because I really needed someone to talk to. While waiting for my turn I also got the courage to text mama. She was at Baguio. I texted her: mama, I think you should come down here at manila. And she answered me with: why anak? what’s wrong?. I just replied to her that I needed her to come down and that I’d explain everything to her when she comes down.

Right upon sitting down at doktora’s desk, I began to cry I started with the line “doktora, ayaw ko na pong magboard exam. Masyadong mahirap.” (doctor, I don’t want to take the board exam anymore. It’s too hard.) She started with the statement, “Naku hindi pwede, magtetake ka nang board exam. Bakit mo ba naisip yan?” (That can’t be. You should take the board exam. What made you think of doing so?)

So I started to explain everything to her. How hard it was to cope up with everything, and how hard the exams were for me and how I was failing each exam. She listened attentively and jotted down notes on my records while I explained.

The conversation went: (translated already into english)
Dra. David: Young girl, have you been an achiever during your academic years?
Me: Opo…
Dra. David: This is the reason why you’re acting this way. You expect too much from yourself so you put too much pressure on yourself too. I want to remind you, reviewing for the board exam is different from your academics. You are a perfectionist. You’ve been used to to just studying and just constantly taking exams and quizzes and getting high scores. But now is different. Do not pressure yourself too much.
Me: But doktora, it’s really so hard. I haven’t passed even one exam.
Dra. David: It’s because you’re undergoing depression. Dear, do not lose hope. Do you believe that you are a good student?
Me: Opo…
Dra. David: Then keep your faith. Believe me, it is just this hard because you are under going depression. And remember, not everything given to you at the review center will appear at the actual board exam.
So she advised me to continue with my meds and just exercise because the medicine will take its effect soon.
I then informed her that I was to bring my parents at the clinic the following day and that it would be an honor if she could explain it to them. She was happy for the news I told her and told me that she would be glad to explain it to them herself.
The next day (third day of being absent at the review). I waited for my parents at the nearest mall. We first ate lunch and right after eating I told them everything. I told them that I was bringing them to my doctor and that she would explain everything to them then and there.
She gave me the best of advice:
You will never know until you try. You don’t want to take the board exam because you are afraid of failure. My dear, not that I am saying that you will fail, but failure won’t make you less of a person. If you fail, the people who really love you will still love you. Do not think about what other people will say about you. What matters are those who really care. You have to fight this fight. You just have to do your best and never forget to pray. God will always give you what you truly deserve. But you know, I have a positive feeling that you will pass. You should too.

Everything went well right after. I asked my parents if I could just stay at the condominium because I felt more comfortable there even if I had to travel for almost an hour going to the review center.
I then committed myself to having a 30-minute walk everyday. I made sure that I had time to unwind everyday even by just strolling around the malls I pass by on the way back to the condominium. I started reading books about happiness and I looked for more ways of communicating with my friends to keep me company during the review.

And since we had unlimited internet at the condominium I kept on logging on facebook just to lay away from the stress. I also sent messages to my friends just to say hi. I started watching television shows - my favorite was pure love, a koreanovela which played at ABS CBN every 10:35pm. I didn’t care if I had to stay up late just to wait for the show to play. I loved watching the show and it made me happy so I continued watching it.

I then started making posts at twitter and facebook about happiness. I wanted to promote happiness so much that I made it part of my daily routine.

After weeks after my parents knew what I was going through. Everything just went fine. I never felt depressed even just once. I never passed an exam still, but I received it all positively - took my failures as a lesson learned for the topics I don’t understand.

All through those weeks, I kept on receiving positive messages from my friends and relatives. They kept on keeping my hopes high. They were very supportive.

I made new friends at the review center. I even started singing for the review center and I actually loved doing it.

I also kept on praying for guidance and strength for everything. God was so good. Also, I prayed to him to guide me to the right path of my career.

September 28 and 29 - the dates of our the board examination. I was assigned to take the exams at General M. Hizon Elementary School. It was then and there. No more turning back.

I was glad that both my parents were here at Metro Manila to support me. I constantly received text messages from my relatives and friends wishing me luck and a lot of blessings.

We expected the results to come out the day after. But sadly, results didn’t come out. Me, mama, and my boyfriend (whom gladly came to spend his 15-day vacation with me because of my board exam) spent the next days staying up until late night just waiting for the exam back at Baguio. On the 2nd day of October I did some errands with my new business together with my boyfriend.

On that afternoon we came back at home. Mama telling me that the results weren’t out yet. She gave a last look at PRC’s website and she suddenly shouted “The results are out!!!!!!!!”

Me and my boyfriend ran at her side. The results were finally out!!!! Mama scrolled down the pdf file to search for my name. She even ordered me not to look and wait for her own announcement. And it all started with a big YES from mama.

and there it was #1644. I PASSED THE BOARD EXAM!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God I did!!!!!!!!!!!

I could still remember my reaction that time. All I could was dance for joy!! I kept on shouting!!! It felt soooooooooooo great!!!! This was it!!!!! God’s call!!!!!!!!

Then my boyfriend told me, ano na ulit sabi mo dati? ayaw mo na magboard exam? gusto mo nang umuwi nang Baguio? (what did you say again last time? you didn’t want to take the board exam anymore? you wanted to go home to Baguio already?) I didn’t answer, I just bursted in tears and gave him a tight tight tight hug.

Now I look back to what happened. Everything happened just so fast!!!! But I consider it a big blessing. What happened made me a better person: It made me closer to my parents; It made me love myself even more; It developed my relationship with God even better; It made me treasure my boyfriend’s love more; It made me realize that I was loved by many.

Depression didn’t take the best of me. Rather, it brought out the best in me.

Yours Truly,
God’s little Engineer

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Not worthy of Lies (My Own Opinion)

Some of you may think that it's better to lie to your partner rather than having them worry too much about you; rather than going through an argument; rather than getting her hurt; rather than having your partner get mad.
But in my opinion: those reasons are so wrong!
Opinion (1). It's better for me to know the truth and just go on with worrying. - As a partner to worry is part of my job. You can't prevent your partner from worrying because they love you; they care about you; they don't want anything bad to happen to you. Worrying isn't something bad. It's part of a good relationship. If I didn't worry about you, that just means that you ain't mean something to me. Just let me worry.
-another things is: would you rather let me worry now, or face me mad when I get to know in the end that you lied.
Opinion (2). When you lie to your partner you are risking something big in your relationship - YOUR PARTNER'S TRUST. - oh yes! I do believe in karma. One way or the other, the truth will always come out. And if it comes out and your partner get to know it you will make her think that it wasn't the first time you've lied to her/him. Also, your partner would think that you'd do it again in the future - if ever there'd still be a future for the both of you.
-You read right on the previous paragraph - "..if ever there'd still be a future for the both of you." A lot of people have trust issues and believes that you can't love someone you can't trust.
Opinion (3). It's better to argue about the issue NOW than LATER. -Yes, if theissue isn't something good, most probably you and your partner with just argue. But believe me, it's better to argue about the issue alone than argue about the issue together with the issue of you lying.
Opinion (4). Knowing that you lied would hurt more. -You kept something from your partner because you didn't want him/her to get hurt or get mad. But that reasons not worth it. First of all, once your partner gets to know that you lied to him/her, it would hurt her more because they'd think that they weren't worthy to know the truth; they ain't part of your life to know that kind of detail in your life. Secondly, yes, maybe (or maybe not) your partner would get mad. If the issue is really that bad, expect that he/she would really get mad. But having them as your partner, they deserve to know it. If you partner truly loves you, no matter how bad the issue is, they'd stand by you, love you, and accept you. Maybe it wouldn't be easy at first, buy hey, if you really love each other - and I do mean really love each other - you wouldn't allow your relationship to be destroyed by anything.
Opinion (5). You chose to love your partner - being honest to him/her is one of the best foundations in your relationship. Loving is one of the best things on earth. Don't let lying waste your chance of loving someone who really means something to you.